d100 : Drunken Boasts
| Die Roll | Result | Credit |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | I once hit a medusa so hard in the face its eyes saw each other. | /u/CorrectJeans |
| 2 | I once shouted the fire off of a burning orphanage. | /u/CorrectJeans |
| 3 | I once killed 7 men in one stroke. | /u/CorrectJeans |
| 4 | I once killed 7 flies in one stroke. | /u/CorrectJeans |
| 5 | I once lived for a year in a barren desert solely off of juice which I squeezed from rocks. | /u/CorrectJeans |
| 6 | I once killed a red dragon with fire. | /u/Format64 |
| 7 | I stole a kiss from a nymph in a hidden grotto, cold as the moon she was, but twice as lovely. | /u/Curtinater |
| 8 | I once beat an ogre in an arm wrestle. | /u/DragonBolt101 |
| 9 | I punched an incoming arrow once. It went right through the eye of the archer. | /u/ShareDVI |
| 10 | Once had a dryad wanna inhabit my wood if'n ya know what I mean. | /u/NeoBlue42 |
| 11 | One time, I beat the mayor in an egg spoon race. | /u/gyarados_ouroboros |
| 12 | I once outdrank a clan of dwarves in a drinking contest. | /u/emblasochist |
| 13 | I once caught a fish that was TTTTHHHHIIIIISSSSS BIG. | /u/jaysnide |
| 14 | I got a free go at the land's most expensive brothel by pretending to be the king. | /u/miniboes |
| 15 | One time I seduced a god. That's why they weren't answering your prayers. | /u/Runescribe |
| 16 | I once blew out a fire elemental with a belch. | /u/Runescribe |
| 17 | I once drank an entire water elemental. | /u/Runescribe |
| 18 | My shadow is actually a Shadow. It does what I want because it's scared of me. | /u/Runescribe |
| 19 | Once I was bit by a wererat and it turned into me. | /u/Runescribe |
| 20 | I once led an army of kobolds. | /u/Runescribe |
| Die Roll | Result | Credit |
|---|---|---|
| 21 | I've been to the 7th layer of the Abyss. | /u/Runescribe |
| 22 | I once told a riddle so ingenious a Sphinx couldn't solve it. It killed itself out of shame. | /u/Runescribe |
| 23 | I'm so good at handstands I can do them with two hands tied behind my back! | /u/CashKing_D |
| 24 | I once drowned a merfolk. | /u/Chowdiddy_ |
| 25 | Grew a beard so rough it beat a mindflayer in a tentacle wrestling contest. | /u/NeoBlue42 |
| 26 | Found Vecna's liver and it's not done me any wrong since I got it in. | /u/NeoBlue42 |
| 27 | I once drank myself free from a bowl of watery death. | /u/Markrafter9 |
| 28 | I once ambushed a mimic with my disguise. | /u/MysticMeow |
| 29 | I once threw a minotaur so far, he landed in a different kingdom. | /u/WingedPanda77 |
| 30 | I once cut off all of a hydra's heads at once. | /u/WingedPanda77 |
| 31 | I once seduced a succubus. | /u/WingedPanda77 |
| 32 | I once tricked a mimic with a fake adventurer. | /u/WingedPanda77 |
| 33 | I once beat an ettin in a staring contest. | /u/WingedPanda77 |
| 34 | Just last week, I ate 100 hard boiled eggs in an hour. | /u/Mamertine |
| 35 | I once domesticated a displacer beast. Nasty things are impossible to keep track of, so I had to get rid of it. | /u/definitely_joe |
| 36 | I once defeated a clan of trolls while in the middle of a pie eating contest and still won. | /u/xyphius |
| 37 | I flexed so hard once that the vampire sucking my blood popped. | /u/ParameciaAntic |
| 38 | I once used all three wishes from a ring to get a nice mutton and lettuce sandwich where the mutton is extra lean. | /u/ParameciaAntic |
| 39 | I can dodge a Spear of Backbiting. | /u/ParameciaAntic |
| 40 | I once beat a Medusa in a staring contest! | /u/BuddhaPalooza |
| Die Roll | Result | Credit |
|---|---|---|
| 41 | Drizzt Do'Urden personally gifted me a panther cub to be my familiar. | /u/KatanaKamikaze |
| 42 | I am the Raven Queen. | /u/KatanaKamikaze |
| 43 | I once drank a decanter of endless water dry. | /u/Patergia |
| 44 | I once hit an owlbear SOOO hard, it turned into a bearowl. | /u/Patergia |
| 45 | I beat Asmodeus at dragon chess once. | /u/Patergia |
| 46 | I killed a man, with THIS THUMB. | /u/Patergia |
| 47 | Lightweight! I once drank a dragon under the table, I'll have you know! | /u/fellxcatking |
| 48 | I once wrestled a dragon out of the sky. | /u/Antiochus_Sidetes |
| 49 | I once beat a Beholder in a game of I Spy. | /u/the_NOHO_kid |
| 50 | I've had, like, 50 heart attacks, and I'm still standing! | /u/Pentwarrior |
| 51 | I convinced a God to make a star for me, no you can't see it from here. | /u/narizroja |
| 52 | I calmed a raging barbarian | /u/Kandep |
| 53 | I once got a standing ovation from (a famous bard). | /u/Kandep |
| 54 | I convinced (a famous cleric or paladin) to follow me. | /u/Kandep |
| 55 | I put a suit of armor on a monk. | /u/Kandep |
| 56 | I spotted (a famous rogue) sneaking around the city. | /u/Kandep |
| 57 | I beat (a famous ranger or druid) at hide and seek in the woods. | /u/Kandep |
| 58 | I beat (a famous wizard or scholar) in a trivia competition. | /u/Kandep |
| 59 | I cracked a set of adamantine armor. | /u/Kandep |
| 60 | I drank everything out of an Alchemy Jug. | /u/Kandep |
| Die Roll | Result | Credit |
|---|---|---|
| 61 | I exterminated a camp of ogres while wearing armor of vulnerability. | /u/Kandep |
| 62 | I found an arrow of me slaying, stabbed myself with it, and didn’t pass out from the pain. | /u/Kandep |
| 63 | I pulled myself out from inside a bag of devouring. | /u/Kandep |
| 64 | I beat out someone wearing boots of speed in a foot race. | /u/Kandep |
| 65 | I held a door closed through a Chime of Opening. | /u/Kandep |
| 66 | I saw someone wearing a cloak of invisibility. | /u/Kandep |
| 67 | I walked through the barrier from a Cube of Force. | /u/Kandep |
| 68 | I’ve killed enough dragons to create a a set of Dragon Scale Mail for each dragon type. | /u/Kandep |
| 69 | I hid from someone using a Gem of Seeing. | /u/Kandep |
| 70 | I bench-pressed an Immovable Rod. | /u/Kandep |
| 71 | I beat a Storm Giant in a wrestling match. | /u/Kandep |
| 72 | I won a barfight against someone who had just drank a Potion of Invulnerability. | /u/Kandep |
| 73 | I drank my weight in Potions of Poison. | /u/Kandep |
| 74 | I found a Robe of Useful Items and the only patch on it was me. | /u/Kandep |
| 75 | I opened something glued shut with Sovereign Glue. | /u/Kandep |
| 76 | I walked through a Sphere of Annihilation. | /u/Kandep |
| 77 | I found a luckstone carved in the image of me. | /u/Kandep |
| 78 | Someone used Detect Magic, and all it found was me. | /u/Kandep |
| 79 | I once converted a Mind Flayer to veganism. | /u/caciuccoecostine |
| 80 | I was almost the king' s brother/sister-in-law. | /u/Javrambimbam |
| Die Roll | Result | Credit |
|---|---|---|
| 81 | I just downed the spiciest burrito you ever did see. Until a couple seconds ago my mouth was still smoldering. | /u/Javrambimbam |
| 82 | I once peed of a cliff and hit a bird three meters away from me. | /u/Javrambimbam |
| 83 | You know that mine in the nearby mountains? I dug it. With a single punch. | /u/Sexy-Squirrel |
| 84 | I once kicked a shark so hard it exploded. | /u/Sexy-Squirrel |
| 85 | I once hit a Mind Flayer so hard its tentacles went in its mouth. | /u/PurpleCarrotPie |
| 86 | I went to a village in the far lands and drove the inhabitants insane. | /u/GilgarWebb |
| 87 | I'm a celestial travel guide looking for a green starship. | /u/GilgarWebb |
| 88 | I've danced with a devil in the pale moonlight. | /u/GilgarWebb |
| 89 | I once killed 3 men with a quill. | /u/Antiochus_Sidetes |
| 90 | Of course I know Undercommon! I-ay ept-slay ith-way er-yay other-may! | /u/Skele11 |
| 91 | I put the man in manticore. | /u/manticore |
| 92 | I can cast spells with no hands. | /u/manticore |
| 93 | With my serenade, I once enthralled a siren. | /u/manticore |
| 94 | I've visited the cloud district often, have you? Oh what am I saying. | /u/manticore |
| 95 | A dwarf has no chance of out-drinking my liver | /u/manticore |
| 96 | I once beat a demon so bad it begged an occultist to send him back. | /u/Jacknerik |
| 97 | I once painted a portrait so lifelike the buyer used it as a mirror. | /u/Jacknerik |
| 98 | I've hiked so many mountains that I know every mountain goat by name. | /u/Jacknerik |
| 99 | I once played the harp so well a deaf man started to dance. | /u/Jacknerik |
| 100 | I once built a chair so comfortable the buyer died of starvation before he was willing to get up. | /u/Jacknerik |
Bonus Content!!!
| Die Roll | Result | Credit |
|---|---|---|
| 101 | I had a run-in with a cannibal tribe. They're all vegans now. | /u/Jacknerik |
| 102 | I turned a dire wolf into a lapdog. | /u/Jacknerik |
| 103 | I cooked a dish so spicy it made a dragon cry. | /u/Jacknerik |
| 104 | I once stopped a hurricane by shooting at it with a bow. | /u/Patergia |
| 105 | Dragons learned how to breathe fire from me. | /u/Patergia |
| 106 | I've made three volcanoes erupt prematurely. | /u/Patergia |
| 107 | I don't know where any of my bones are, I sold them all off years ago! | /u/Pentwarrior |
| 108 | I have never slept...(falls asleep for 2 seconds)...I'm always awake. | /u/Pentwarrior |
Credits
Cover Art: JSMarantz
Original Compiler: /u/CorrectJeans
Source: /r/d100