d100: Drunken Boasts

<div class='cover-header'>d100 : Drunken Boasts</div>

<div class='cover-footer'>The local drunk at the tavern is always spouting about his past feats. Sometimes the other regulars enjoy emphatically vouching for their veracity to mess with outsiders.</div>

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Die Roll|Result|Credit
---|---|---
1|I once hit a medusa so hard in the face its eyes saw each other.|/u/CorrectJeans
2|I once shouted the fire off of a burning orphanage.|/u/CorrectJeans 
3|I once killed 7 men in one stroke.|/u/CorrectJeans 
4|I once killed 7 flies in one stroke.|/u/CorrectJeans 
5|I once lived for a year in a barren desert solely off of juice which I squeezed from rocks.|/u/CorrectJeans
6|I once killed a red dragon with fire.|/u/Format64 
7|I stole a kiss from a nymph in a hidden grotto, cold as the moon she was, but twice as lovely.|/u/Curtinater 
8|I once beat an ogre in an arm wrestle.|/u/DragonBolt101 
9|I punched an incoming arrow once. It went right through the eye of the archer.|/u/ShareDVI 
10|Once had a dryad wanna inhabit my wood if'n ya know what I mean.|/u/NeoBlue42
11|One time, I beat the mayor in an egg spoon race.|/u/gyarados_ouroboros 
12|I once outdrank a clan of dwarves in a drinking contest.|/u/emblasochist
13|I once caught a fish that was TTTTHHHHIIIIISSSSS BIG.|/u/jaysnide
14|I got a free go at the land's most expensive brothel by pretending to be the king.|/u/miniboes 
15|One time I seduced a god. That's why they weren't answering your prayers.|/u/Runescribe 
16|I once blew out a fire elemental with a belch.|/u/Runescribe 
17|I once drank an entire water elemental.|/u/Runescribe 
18|My shadow is actually a Shadow. It does what I want because it's scared of me.|/u/Runescribe 
19|Once I was bit by a wererat and it turned into me.|/u/Runescribe 
20|I once led an army of kobolds.|/u/Runescribe

Die Roll|Result|Credit
---|---|---
21|I've been to the 7th layer of the Abyss.|/u/Runescribe 
22|I once told a riddle so ingenious a Sphinx couldn't solve it. It killed itself out of shame.|/u/Runescribe 
23|I'm so good at handstands I can do them with two hands tied behind my back!|/u/CashKing_D 
24|I once drowned a merfolk.|/u/Chowdiddy_ 
25|Grew a beard so rough it beat a mindflayer in a tentacle wrestling contest.|/u/NeoBlue42 
26|Found Vecna's liver and it's not done me any wrong since I got it in.|/u/NeoBlue42 
27|I once drank myself free from a bowl of watery death.|/u/Markrafter9 
28|I once ambushed a mimic with *my* disguise.|/u/MysticMeow 
29|I once threw a minotaur so far, he landed in a different kingdom.|/u/WingedPanda77 
30|I once cut off all of a hydra's heads at once.|/u/WingedPanda77
31|I once seduced a succubus.|/u/WingedPanda77 
32|I once tricked a mimic with a fake adventurer.|/u/WingedPanda77 
33|I once beat an ettin in a staring contest.|/u/WingedPanda77  
34|Just last week, I ate 100 hard boiled eggs in an hour.|/u/Mamertine 
35|I once domesticated a displacer beast. Nasty things are impossible to keep track of, so I had to get rid of it.|/u/definitely_joe
36|I once defeated a clan of trolls while in the middle of a pie eating contest and still won.|/u/xyphius 
37|I flexed so hard once that the vampire sucking my blood popped.|/u/ParameciaAntic 
38|I once used all three wishes from a ring to get a nice mutton and lettuce sandwich where the mutton is extra lean.|/u/ParameciaAntic 
39|I can dodge a Spear of Backbiting.|/u/ParameciaAntic  
40|I once beat a Medusa in a staring contest!|/u/BuddhaPalooza

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Die Roll|Result|Credit
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41|Drizzt Do'Urden personally gifted me a panther cub to be my familiar.|/u/KatanaKamikaze
42|I am the Raven Queen.|/u/KatanaKamikaze
43|I once drank a *decanter of endless water* dry.|/u/Patergia  
44|I once hit an owlbear SOOO hard, it turned into a bearowl.|/u/Patergia 
45|I beat Asmodeus at dragon chess once.|/u/Patergia 
46|I killed a man, with THIS THUMB.|/u/Patergia 
47|Lightweight! I once drank a dragon under the table, I'll have you know!|/u/fellxcatking 
48|I once wrestled a dragon out of the sky.|/u/Antiochus_Sidetes 
49|I once beat a Beholder in a game of I Spy.|/u/the_NOHO_kid 
50|I've had, like, 50 heart attacks, and I'm still standing!|/u/Pentwarrior
51|I convinced a God to make a star for me, no you can't see it from here.|/u/narizroja 
52|I calmed a raging barbarian|/u/Kandep 
53|I once got a standing ovation from (a famous bard).|/u/Kandep 
54|I convinced (a famous cleric or paladin) to follow *me*.|/u/Kandep 
55|I put a suit of armor on a monk.|/u/Kandep 
56|I spotted (a famous rogue) sneaking around the city.|/u/Kandep 
57|I beat (a famous ranger or druid) at hide and seek in the woods.|/u/Kandep 
58|I beat (a famous wizard or scholar) in a trivia competition.|/u/Kandep 
59|I cracked a set of adamantine armor.|/u/Kandep 
60|I drank *everything* out of an Alchemy Jug.|/u/Kandep

Die Roll|Result|Credit
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61|I exterminated a camp of ogres while wearing armor of vulnerability.|/u/Kandep 
62|I found an arrow of *me* slaying, stabbed myself with it, and didn’t pass out from the pain.|/u/Kandep 
63|I pulled myself out from inside a bag of devouring.|/u/Kandep 
64|I beat out someone wearing boots of speed in a foot race.|/u/Kandep 
65|I held a door closed through a Chime of Opening.|/u/Kandep 
66|I saw someone wearing a cloak of invisibility.|/u/Kandep 
67|I walked through the barrier from a Cube of Force.|/u/Kandep 
68|I’ve killed enough dragons to create a a set of Dragon Scale Mail for each dragon type.|/u/Kandep 
69|I hid from someone using a Gem of Seeing.|/u/Kandep 
70|I bench-pressed an Immovable Rod.|/u/Kandep 
71|I beat a Storm Giant in a wrestling match.|/u/Kandep 
72|I won a barfight against someone who had just drank a Potion of Invulnerability.|/u/Kandep 
73|I drank my weight in Potions of Poison.|/u/Kandep 
74|I found a Robe of Useful Items and the only patch on it was *me*.|/u/Kandep 
75|I opened something glued shut with Sovereign Glue.|/u/Kandep 
76|I walked through a Sphere of Annihilation.|/u/Kandep 
77|I found a luckstone carved in the image of *me*.|/u/Kandep 
78|Someone used Detect Magic, and all it found was *me*.|/u/Kandep 
79|I once converted a Mind Flayer to veganism.|/u/caciuccoecostine 
80|I was almost the king' s brother/sister-in-law.|/u/Javrambimbam

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Die Roll|Result|Credit
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81|I just downed the spiciest burrito you ever did see. Until a couple seconds ago my mouth was still smoldering.|/u/Javrambimbam 
82|I once peed of a cliff and hit a bird three meters away from me.|/u/Javrambimbam 
83|You know that mine in the nearby mountains? I dug it. With a single punch.|/u/Sexy-Squirrel
84|I once kicked a shark so hard it exploded.|/u/Sexy-Squirrel
85|I once hit a Mind Flayer so hard its tentacles went in its mouth.|/u/PurpleCarrotPie 
86|I went to a village in the far lands and drove the inhabitants insane.|/u/GilgarWebb 
87|I'm a celestial travel guide looking for a green starship.|/u/GilgarWebb 
88|I've danced with a devil in the pale moonlight.|/u/GilgarWebb 
89|I once killed 3 men with a *quill*.|/u/Antiochus_Sidetes
90|Of course I know Undercommon! I-ay ept-slay ith-way er-yay other-may!|/u/Skele11
91|I put the man in *man*ticore.|/u/manticore
92|I can cast spells with no hands.|/u/manticore
93|With my serenade, I once enthralled a siren.|/u/manticore
94|I've visited the cloud district often, have you? Oh what am I saying.|/u/manticore
95|A dwarf has no chance of out-drinking my liver|/u/manticore
96|I once beat a demon so bad it begged an occultist to send him back.|/u/Jacknerik
97|I once painted a portrait so lifelike the buyer used it as a mirror.|/u/Jacknerik
98|I've hiked so many mountains that I know every mountain goat by name.|/u/Jacknerik
99|I once played the harp so well a deaf man started to dance.|/u/Jacknerik
100|I once built a chair so comfortable the buyer died of starvation before he was willing to get up.|/u/Jacknerik

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## Bonus Content!!!
Die Roll|Result|Credit
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101|I had a run-in with a cannibal tribe. They're all vegans now.|/u/Jacknerik
102|I turned a dire wolf into a lapdog.|/u/Jacknerik
103|I cooked a dish so spicy it made a dragon cry.|/u/Jacknerik
104|I once stopped a hurricane by shooting at it with a bow.|/u/Patergia 
105|Dragons learned how to breathe fire from me.|/u/Patergia 
106|I've made three volcanoes erupt prematurely.|/u/Patergia 
107|I don't know where any of my bones are, I sold them all off years ago!|/u/Pentwarrior 
108|I have never slept...(falls asleep for 2 seconds)...I'm *always* awake.|/u/Pentwarrior

> ##### Credits
>
> **Cover Art:** [JSMarantz](https://jsmarantz.deviantart.com/art/Drunk-Minotaur-327948288)
>___
> **Original Compiler:** /u/CorrectJeans
> ___
> **Source:** [/r/d100](https://www.reddit.com/r/d100/comments/7hdas7/d100_drunken_boasts/)