Actual Coffee Warlock
Otherworldly Patron: The Coffee
Your patron is unlike most extraplanars -- and in fact, unlike most creatures. It is a dominant being from the Swamp of Oblivion, the Elemental Plane of Ooze. You have bound yourself to one of the many sentient batches or “mugs” of Coffee, a mighty patron with only moderate likeness to the beverage 'coffee,' written in lowercase. Perhaps your patron presented itself to you at a time of need, or perhaps you sought it out yourself. Regardless, you are certainly dependent on the Coffee for the magic and near constant stimulation with which it provides you.
Restriction: Living Creatures Only
To choose this subclass, you must play as a living creature, not a Warforged or construct. This subclass relies upon the consumption of Coffee, which has no effects on non-living creatures.
Coffee Expanded Spells
1st level Coffee feature
The Coffee lets you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a warlock spell. The following spells are added to the warlock spell list for you.
| Spell Level | Spells |
|---|---|
| 1st | expeditious retreat, goodberry* |
| 2nd | blur, Melf’s acid arrow |
| 3rd | create food and water, water walk |
| 4th | aura of life, vitriolic sphere |
| 5th | cloudkill, dominate person |
*Instead of berries, you produce coffee beans.
Bonus Cantrip
1st level Coffee feature
At 1st level, you learn the acid splash cantrip, which counts as a warlock cantrip for you but does not count against your number of cantrips known. When you cast this cantrip, you deal acid damage as normal, but the acid itself resembles nonmagical coffee.
Jittery Mind
1st level Coffee feature
Your access to consumable Coffee keeps you alert for longer durations. During a long rest, you need to rest for only half the time that is normally required by your race. In addition, you have advantage on saving throws against being charmed or frightened.
During a short or long rest, you can perform a 15-minute ritual, after which your patron delivers a small cup
of Coffee for you to consume. If you fail to consume the Coffee within the next hour, it loses both its potency and magical benefits.
You lose this feature if you do not consume Coffee for a number of days equal to your Charisma modifier (minimum of one day).
Party Pooper
1st level Coffee feature
The Coffee you consume is powerful but occasionally, disagreeable. Whenever you roll a 1 on an attack roll, you are suddenly gripped by the need to defecate. You have disadvantage on attack rolls and saving throws until the end of your next turn.
Unearthly Blend
6th level Coffee feature
The acidity of your patron’s extraplanar blend changes your body’s alchemical balance. You can substitute the damage dealt by your spells with acid damage, and add 1d4 acid damage to your melee weapon attacks. When you reach 10th level in this class, the acid damage increases to 2d4. You also gain resistance to acid and poison damage.
You lose this feature if you do not consume Coffee for a number of days equal to your Charisma modifier (minimum of one day).
Gift of the Roast
10th level Coffee feature
Your pact with the Coffee awards you with proficiency with brewers’ tools, if you do not already have it. Whenever you finish a short or long rest, any Coffee you consume grants you a pool of temporary hit points equal to your warlock level + your Charisma modifier. You can choose to give some or all of your temporary hit points to up to 5 friendly creatures within 30 feet of you.
You lose this feature if you do not consume Coffee for a number of days equal to your Charisma modifier (minimum of one day).
Piquant Soul
14th level Coffee feature
As part of your pact, you obtain all your nutrients by consuming Coffee, and no longer require food or water. You gain immunity to both acid and poison damage, and gain a +5 bonus for saving throws against the poisoned condition. In addition, you can use your reaction to deal 8d10 acid damage when a creature attempts to deal acid, fire, or poison damage to you.
You can use this reaction a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier before needing a long rest.
Where Credit is Due
This is unofficial Fan Content permitted under the Fan Content Policy. Not approved/endorsed by Wizards. Portions of the materials used are property of Wizards of the Coast. ©Wizards of the Coast LLC.
Concept Idea by TheElderWorm